It's been one year since we lost the great Tom Petty. KGB is celebrating the life and music of Tom Petty today with a ton of two-fers, so please listen at 101kgb.com.
What's the best Tom Petty song ever created? We voted and came up with...
Running Down a Dream!
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The Italian Police Are Savages (And Also Not That Smart)
By Jadd
Inappropriate Funeral Stories
Dave’s father in law, Jack’s funeral was in a huge church - tried to use his catch phrase, “I wonder what the poor people are doing today?” The back portion of the church was all poor people Jack took care of.
Emily - horrified the ladies at her church when she went to the back row to breast feed her baby. She sat where no one could see her. Another time her son splashed in the holy water and got in trouble.
Mom said - oh no I forgot your father! She forgot the vase with his ashes at the church.
I have a short uncle. He kissed the dead person, fell into the casket and his little legs were dangling out of the lid.
At the graveyard, they released white doves during a solemn moment at his grandmother’s funeral. They pooped on the whole crowd.
Little brother ripped the loudest fart in humanity. He and his brother were the only two who laughed.
At Uncle Jack’s funeral, sitting behind his family. Dad says “Jack in the Box” and they all laughed, but had to pretend they were crying.
He and his sister went to their grandmothers funeral. He scared her by saying she was going to jump up and get her - kid screamed and ran off.
Answered a cell phone call - yelled at the person for calling during a funeral.
The singer at a funeral had on bright red lipstick. She was a terrible singer and had a chunk of lipstick on her front tooth. They cracked up laughing while pretending to cry.
Slum lord’s funeral - "at least he won’t have another chance to Jew you." Most of the crowd was Jewish.
He was at a military funeral, spread ashes at a golf course - gust of wind blew the ashes all over the family.
Chainsaw’s great aunt died. Dumped ashes in the ocean - wind blew the ashes into the mouths of his little boys.
Heidi - her friend was decapitated in a car accident in a open casket.
Scott - burial at sea, man burying his father, but people didn’t like the man. They liked his father though. Side exhaust vents blew ashes all over the dress whites turned them into dress grays. Finally had to crack up laughing.
Mary - her cousin, 2 years old, started screaming and laughing all over the graveyard.
Didn't turn off his cell phone. Got a ton of calls from his girlfriend who's ring tone of Too Many Dicks on the Dance Floor kept ringing over and over again.
Grandmother bent over to kiss her husband in his casket and let one rip. She blamed it on the dead guy!
Photo by KGB/iheartmedia
$5 Quiz: Movies in Five words! Listeners playing for tix to World Beat Center in Balboa Park.
Girl makes Demi god Hawaii - Moana
Cross dressing father becomes nanny- Mrs. Doubtfire
Attys son wants honest father - Liar Liar
Frozen - ice queen controls temper
Idiotic friends return womans luggage - Dumb and Dumber
Spoiled girl loves her step brother - Clueless
Stuffed bear uses naughty language - Ted
TV ghost haunts family home - Poltergeist
War makes girls play ball - A League of Their Own
Man tells stranger entire life - Forrest Gump
Mediocre boxer becomes world champ - Rocky
Fight the power with dancing - Footloose
Hockey team beats the - Miracle
Spoiled nuisance loves twerp - Gone with the Wind
Let’s all murder the witch - Wizard of Oz
Father and sons kill everyone - The Godfather
A penny ruined their lives - Somewhere in Time
Guy sings while it pours - Singing in the Rain
Gorilla forgets throwing book away - JK Conspiracy
Granny lies about a rock - Titanic
Cowboys fight the black sheriff - Blazing Saddles
Nun pokes sews and sings - Sound of Music
Dreams make van crash slowly - Inception
Con men pretend to die - The Sting
Crabby, sweaty people in NO - A Streetcar named Desire
Mopey dullard hangs with teens - Rebel without a Cause
Teenagers drive around all night - American Graffiti
Cannibals talk about farm animals - Silence of the Lambs
Kidnappers murder in the snow - Fargo
Heroin dancing in ball gag - Pulp Fiction
****Emily wins***************
$5 Quiz Standings:
Ruth - last place
Emily - 8 games back
Chainsaw - 3rd place, 4 games back
Sarah - 1 game back
FIRST PLACE - Boyer - batting 309, $126 +
Photo by KGB/iheartmedia
Do You Agree With This Woman Planning On Suing The Ryder Cup?
By Jadd
Week 4 in the NFL: here are the current standings in our Football Pool.
- Dave - Packers 2-1-1
- Emily - Pats 2 - 2 -0
- Chainsaw - Chargers 2-2
- Boyer - Vikings 1-2-1
- Ruthie - Steelers 1-2-1
- Sarah - Eagles 2-2-0
- Branden - Rams 4-0 ********
Photo by KGB/iheartmedia