Some guy in England recently showed up to the E.R. with something stuck up his NO-GO HOLE. And he claimed it happened by accident, which is always what they say.
In this case, the object lodged inside him was an old World War Two ARTILLERY SHELL . . . basically a huge bullet used to take out tanks. It was about two-and-a-half inches in diameter, and almost seven inches long.
He claimed he'd been cleaning a bunch of junk out of his house when he found it. Then he put it on the floor . . . slipped . . . and landed on it butt-first.
Doctors were able to remove the shell, THEN realized it might be dangerous and called in the bomb squad. Luckily it wasn't actually something that could explode.
They said it was a, quote, "inert lump of metal, so there was no risk to life . . . at least not to anyone else's." He's expected to make a full recovery.